You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
