I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she pinky promised me she was 18
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
