make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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