already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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