Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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