Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
