i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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