i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
