Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
