Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
