Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
