I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
