He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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