What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
