do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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