thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
