I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
