yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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