I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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