I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
