would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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