I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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