he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
