Please, let me fuck your mom
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
