stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
people are starting to question the shark bite story
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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