bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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