Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
