So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
