you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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