I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
