Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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