I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
