the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
