I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
