Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
