Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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