She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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