maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
