Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize