I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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