we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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