I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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