You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
