question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sext me about skeletons
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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