We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
