Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
