I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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