brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
