Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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