the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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