I like my sex mixed with concussions.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
