My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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