She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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