a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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