I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
