If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
