she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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