well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
