i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
