When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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