I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
