Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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