My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
